


2K

by NightshadeArabs



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 01:48:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18022505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightshadeArabs/pseuds/NightshadeArabs
Summary: Work In Progress, but I don't know when I'll add more. Stuff might change.2K got pulled out of a HYDRA building by the Avengers. Add Loki to the mix and chaos ensues.Seriously though, I'm still ironing a lot out here. This was my first real fanfic.Roughly you're the reader, but the character has a name etc.





	1. Chapter 1

My leg twitched. Everything was dark. Wait, not dark. My eyelids just felt very heavy. Ugh. How long had I been asleep? It had to have been several hours. That was good at least, I still needed to get as much rest as possible. I groaned and tried to move and couldn’t. All the sudden I am completely awake…. and stuck between my bed and the wall. ‘What the fuck’. Reaching my hand up, which was one of the few things I could move, I gripped the bedframe and began unsticking myself. Times like this were probably about the slowest I’ve ever gotten out of bed. Once I got myself hefted slightly I can flip a leg up onto the bed and pry myself out of the hole. I promptly rolled away from the wall, standing up to survey what was my temporary nest. Sighing I pulled my blankets and pillows from the hole and turning squatted down to shove the offending piece of furniture back against the wall. I really needed to bolt that down or something. This was the second time this month that I woke up stuck because the stupid thing wouldn’t stay put through the night. Maybe I should have gotten a heavier bed. I just don’t know. It probably wouldn’t matter since I could move a considerable amount of weight as it was. I guess a concrete bed built into the floor would work, but Tony would never allow such a thing to be built in here. He was all about high class things. With how often things got broken, you’d think the man would get for frugal.  
With another sigh I snapped my fingers, fixing the covers. I guess I could use magic to stick the bed in place. I’d have to start working on that charm soon, since this seemed to be a regular thing now. Getting dressed I tried to remember the dream that had put me in the hole this time. It was probably the same as last time, but for some reason this morning I just wasn’t sure. The shock of having found myself stuck, again, had redirected my thoughts enough that it hadn’t been important to remember. Besides, if it was the same dream it was all the better I forgot. After all, it’s not exactly happy dreams that end up with you falling down holes. Hell, I probably had tried to take cover between the bed and the wall or something, which would explain why I’d managed to move it and fall without waking up. I’m not even completely sure how I’m managing to move it away from the wall while asleep.  
I surveyed my room, everything in here was high quality. I could thank Tony for that, and had already, but I was still very grateful every time I thought about it. I’d been living in Stark tower, Avengers tower? Whatever, for a year now. I am still under medical observation for any lasting effects from the years in captivity. Truth is, I was still adjusting to having anything that was “mine” aside from a damp hole in the wall and whatever rags I’d been dressed in. ‘Yeah’. That would have been the dream. From before I made it out of that damn hole in the wall. I had been there for so long that I no longer cared what happened to me. I just knew that I was never going to give them what they wanted. I would never be their super soldier. I had no real memories of life before the torture: before HYDRA. I was resigned to my fate. That was my life.

Smoke filled the air, along with sounds of fighting. My eyes twitched open from the corner of the cell. These were new noises. Screams were normal, along with medical and damp smells, but the smoke and explosions were new. Then there was shouting, and the sounds of weapons being fired and solid objects impacting flesh. I sniffed. Even with the smell of smoke and the smell of expended rounds, the air smelled fresher than it had in months. Scooting as much as I could in my special fitted chains I worked towards the noises, towards the front of the cell. I needed to know what was happening.  
I couldn’t see much down the hallway, but there was frantic movement in the dim light. It was never bright down here, but now the power was clearly out and the darkness was punctuated by flashes of light and the rotating yellow security lights. Occasionally someone would run past the door in blind panic, completely ignoring me and the other cells dotted along the corridor. Clearly this was a heavy assault for everyone to be clearing out like they were. Not that they could get out of the building by heading past this cell, that was clearly a last-ditch effort to survive, or hide if possible. I coughed, lungs protesting both the movement and the particles in the air. There was no way to call out and I had used what energy I had crossing the floor of the cell. My arms and legs burned, and I had reopened a few of the cuts from last session. An involuntary shiver shook my whole body causing even more pain. The world went completely black.  
The Avengers found me there, slumped against the wall in the cell, breathing shallow. I only have snippets of memories, sensations really, of strong arms carrying me out of the building, a gentle voice telling me to hang on, that everything was going to be fine. They told me later that Captain America, Steve Rogers, had carried me out. I had finally started to regain consciousness on the helicarrier, in a brightly lit white room. Someone was talking, saying medical sounding things, someone else was holding my hand. ‘This is odd’. Who would be holding my hand during the treatments and why didn’t everything hurt more? I groaned, and the room went quiet for a minute, before the person holding my hand squeezed it and said, “Hey, hey, it’s ok, you’re safe now”. I hadn’t even realized it, but as soon as I had started waking up, I had started trashing. I was wearing restraints like usual, but they didn’t feel the same. I was also wearing more clothes than I had been. A couple strong, yet gentle hands had joined the restraints on my arms, but the hand never left mine.  
Opening my eyes as much as I could, I took note of the gentle smiles and concerned looks on the faces of the two men in the room with me and froze. “Easy now,” a low male voice said. Then I let out the breath I didn’t even realize I had been holding. Someone had saved me, someone cared. A sob quickly came with those thoughts and before I knew it I was crying. It surprised me that the guys just let me silently cry. Taking mental stock of my body, I realized that all the cuts had been treated, the worst of them having thick bandages and some I felt sure were stitched. I felt safe, it felt so foreign. I still twitched anytime they moved quickly near me, but when they realized this they made it a point to move slowly and tell me before they did anything.  
The dark haired quiet one introduced himself as Bruce. Dr. Banner. The name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. The sandy blonde introduced himself as Steve Rogers, Captain America. He told me about how he found me and pulled me out. I just nodded, realizing that my voice hadn’t regained any strength yet. As I sniffled they removed the restraints and held out a tissue. When I reached for it I realized that the shackles and chains were off too. Stopping before I could grab the tissue, I just stared at my arms. I couldn’t even remember the last time they didn’t have those metal bands on them. Turning my hand to face the palm to the ceiling I inspected the marks there, men completely forgotten as I relearned what my hands and arms looked like. Well, as much as could be seen that wasn’t bandaged and to be honest, a lot of me was.  
Someone cleared their throat, snapping me out of the trance. I looked up, eyes wide, then noticed the tissue still being held out. Taking it, I quickly wiped my eyes, then my nose. “Th-thank you,” I managed to squeak. This prompted a coughing fit, and someone held a cup of water with a straw up to my lips. Taking a sip, I grimaced as I swallowed. “It’s probably best if you don’t talk for a bit,” Bruce informed me gently. “I can’t promise your voice will fully come back, but I’m surprised you could talk at all with the damage that collar did to your neck.” I nodded, reaching a hand tentatively towards my neck. I’d forgotten about the collar. That had been a new development, once the bastards who were keeping me had pushed to the point that I was willing to curse them with my voice as well had hand movements. Remembering had caused more silent tears to fall from my eyes. I hadn’t even noticed them, until the guys had suddenly turned away to give some privacy while still being available if I needed anything.  
I leaned back in the bed, closing my eyes and focusing any energy I could muster inward. There really wasn’t much energy to be had, and instead of accomplishing anything I just drifted into sleep. That was the first time it happened. They really should have left the restraints on to be honest. That time I had woken, midair, as I fell off the bed trying to get away from the dreams. The monitors next to me started to loudly protest and the lights got brighter as people rushed in. Still trashing, tangled in the sheets, even with how weak I was it took three agents to hold me still enough to start to calm down. “Easy,” came Bruce’s voice over the sound of both my and the agents breathing. “I should have figured you might have nightmares, I’m sorry.” I tried to move again and whimpered, the agents still holding me in place waiting for confirmation that they could let go. “Back off,” came a female voice I didn’t recognize, “give her some space for crying out loud.” The agents quickly responded, and I looked up to see a brown haired female agent with a nametag that said Hill.  
She bent down next to me, offering out her hand, “Maria Hill” she stated. “Uh, subject 2000…” I mumbled. There was a look of sadness and shock in her eyes as she nodded. “Let’s get her off the floor, shall we agents?” Maria said, straightening and looking at the people gathered around the room. Several of them moved to help, but I just shot up a hand, grabbed a secure looking shelf next to me and pulled myself to standing. This earned shocked looks all around, but then I waivered on my feet about to go back down. Strong arms caught me from behind, just under the shoulders. “I knew you had to be stubborn to have lasted that long,” admonished a voice I now recognized as Steve. I just gave a small smile to him over my shoulder and let myself be picked up and placed back on the bed. “How long?” I whispered, guessing the answer, but needing to hear it for myself.  
“10 years, according to the file we found hanging next to your door,” Maria stated calmly, though there was a fire in her eyes. Ah, so she must have read it. Most of it I didn’t even know myself but looked down at my lap anyway. Face red. “Oh no, no one here judges you for what you’ve been through. We think you’re a rock star.” She finished with another smile. I just nodded, keeping my head down. I couldn’t see her smile but could hear it in her voice.  
The agents had started shuffling out of the room, realizing they weren’t needed anymore and wanting to give some sense of privacy again. “Your voice seems to be recovering really fast,” Bruce murmured, “mind if I run some non-invasive tests?” I shook your head, “you know what happened… what they did?” I whispered, needing to hear the answer, but not wanting to at the same time. “Yes,” Bruce and Steve said kindly at the same time. Ugh, more tears pricked at my eyes, but refused to fall. “We read your file, they kept pretty extensive notes,” Bruce finished. “I want to see it,” I said with more confidence than I felt, looking between Bruce and Steve. “Maybe that’s not a good idea,” Steve started to say, “not yet anyway.” I nodded, reluctantly agreeing with him. There would be time to remember later.  
“Does it say my name?”  
“No, you don’t remember?” Bruce inquired.  
“No”  
“We’ll find out who you were if you would like.” Steve added.  
“Or you can be a new person” another new female voice joined in. This one belonged to a sharp looking redhead. She simply nodded when I looked at her. “Natasha Romanov” she said simply. I nodded again. “I’d like that. I mean you can look, but I’m ready to be someone new.” I said simply, voice void of emotion. “2K,” I whispered to myself, shaking my head. That was how many may not have made it out. “How many were you able to rescue?” I asked no one in particular.  
“Just you.” Steve replied soberly.  
“Damn.” I hadn’t really been able to make friends there or anything like that, but I knew of others in the program. I only hoped they had painless deaths.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to be bad at breaking this into chapters, but please bear with me. Also I can be bad at words so I'm sorry for any errors.

“Lilith!” Nat was knocking on the door, snapping me out of the memories.  
“Come in,” I replied as she already started opening the door. “You really should lock that,” she commented. Not that it would matter with Nat, or most of the other Avengers. Shit no wonder I didn’t lock it. Moot, meet point. I just fixed her with a sarcastic look and waited for her to say more.  
“Again?” She stated simply, after she’d joined me in the room, looking between me and the bed. I was still staring at it, so it was no surprise that she had figured out what happened. The first time it happened I had to have some help to get out and she had quietly assisted and told no one else about it. The two of us had moved things around in the room after that, so I could unstick myself if necessary. That way if Natasha was away on a mission I would be able to handle the issue alone. No reason to involve anyone else if I could avoid it. I really liked Natasha.  
“Yeah.” I admitted.  
“Have you talked to anyone about it? Besides me, I mean, and hell woman, you haven’t even actually talked to me about it.”  
“I...”  
“Look, I’m not saying you have to talk to me about it, ok, you know I’m always here for you, but if you’re not ready to tell one of us at least talk to someone about it, ok? You should at least tell Bruce since he is your doctor and would want to know that you’re still having nightmares, even if you won’t disclose what they are.”  
I just nodded.  
“Anyway, I’ve got a mission and you’re coming with me on this one.”  
“Really?” I perked up, I didn’t get to go on missions very often because I am still under medical observation, they didn’t know the full extent of what I could do, and most missions couldn’t safely be used as training missions.  
“Yes, pack for warm weather then meet me in the lounge. I’ll have your gear bag. You need three days’ worth of clothes, a bikini and a party dress.”  
“I, uh,” I started to say before she cut me off. “You have a party dress and a bikini, I bought them for you and hung them in your closet, see you in the lounge!” She smiled mischievously and took off out of the room, leaving me speechless.  
I grabbed the emerald green and silver dress and the black bikini and stuffed them, along with some tops and bottoms in a bag. I probably should be more careful with the dress, but if it’s going to survive it had better get used to being treated like regular clothes. Taking one last look at the room, I grabbed a travel bag out of the bathroom and headed out for the lounge and whatever Natasha had in store. At least the dress was a color combo I loved. Nat was good about knowing what I liked and didn’t.  
I rounded the corner into the lounge several minutes later, nearly crashing into Steve. He quickly threw his arms out to steady me as a reflex. “In a hurry much Lil?” His trademark smile lighting up his face. “Nat and I have a mission finally!”  
“Oh, right. I’ll see you guys when you get back, good Luck!”  
“Thanks!” I quickly replied, going around him to join Natasha as she waited next to the doors leading onto the helipad. I saw the quinjet incoming and swallowed some nerves. Then looked at Natasha and met her smile with a cautious one of my own. “Mission is in Hawaii,” she said without even being prompted. “We’re going down to a party to gather intel on some potential Stark tech that shouldn’t be out in the world. Hope you know how to rub shoulders with famous people.”   
I just grinned at her.  
There were a few things I had been trained for before the torture sessions took over my existence. Infiltration had been one of them. The lessons were handy enough even though I hadn’t liked who I was working for and had been vocal about it. I guess I had led one too many rebellions. They had decided to try to break me to make me work for them. I promised them that they would kill me first. They nearly succeeded, if it hadn’t been for Steve I’d be dead. My abilities had been why I was kept. I never knew where or why I was originally grabbed from though. My file hadn’t included it. Just that I was brought in with a group that showed promise in rebuilding a red room type program. None of us had been cooperative. Now I was the only one left.  
Sitting cross legged on the floor of the quinjet I closed my eyes, cleared my mind, and allowed myself to start channeling power. It was still so weak. I hadn’t even tried using them to free myself from the bed because I just knew my muscles were in better shape than my magic. My physical body had bounced back faster than my powers. All those years in the collar, then my rehabilitation had made it a reflex to use my body first, then use my mind. Slowing my breathing I began lifting myself a couple inches off the ground. I was only able to hold it for about a minute before starting to tremble. I had to let myself relax back to the floor then. It seemed that small illusions and tidying up after myself were gradually building it back up, but HYDRA had done a number on me. I was still finding and working power inhibitors to the surface of my skin for removal. Good news was my healing abilities had fully returned. Well, as far as I could tell anyway, I couldn’t fully test it and even if I could the Avengers weren’t likely to let me break something just to see if I could heal it myself. Cuts and bruises from training were one thing, but if I got into any real trouble I could find out how behind I really was. I wasn’t even allowed to do much actual training yet, stupid restrictions and paperwork.  
I opened my eyes to see Natasha watching. “Getting better,” I stated, and she smiled. “I would say this is all still so weird, but you’ve seen who I live with at this point and know that’s bullshit, so…” Natasha trailed off. I met her comment with true laughter. Yes, the abilities I had been able to regain were nothing compared to that of our current roommates. I liked that not only was I no longer a lab rat, but I wasn’t the strangest thing around anymore. I lived with a super spy, an uncannily good archer, a super soldier from the 40’s, a billionaire with a metal suit and an unassuming doctor that could turn into a big green angry guy.   
Not to mention the Norse demigod that stopped by to visit all the time. Thor kept talking with the others about something he had in the works, but since I wasn’t around for much of the beginning of the teams’ relationship with him I hadn’t really been involved with any of the discussions. I was only recently able to be completely moved from the medical wing at S.H.I.E.L.D. to Stark tower anyway. Rehab was a bitch and was taking forever. It was probably because I had begun playing pranks on the doctors that I was moved anyway. I was always much more comfortable with Bruce than the white coats they kept sending into the med wing. I could tell that some of them had their own agenda.   
I am still weak, which really meant that I am on par with a standard fluffy human. I knew I would be able to heal faster away from the S.H.I.E.L.D. scientists anyway. They kept looking at me funny. I didn’t want them to know the full extent of my powers, which Agent Hill, Steve, Nat and Bruce had helped with hiding. Once Tony was filled in, he was also on board with the level of care we were exercising. He had even started working on gear that would stand up to whatever I could throw at it. The HYDRA file on me was highly classified. I had read it finally. It had hurt. Reading it was what made the nightmares even worse. It was better to know though. Knowledge is power, and so knowledge of oneself was the most powerful. The sound of the quinjet powering down to land pulled me out of my head and I gathered my things. Standing next to Natasha I waited for the rear door to open, then stepped out into the moonlight. It was late by the time we had landed in Hawaii, we quickly found the hotel room and settled in. The party would be tomorrow night and the following night, but the two of us were expected to associate with the guests in other sections of the hotel during the days in between so we both set about putting clothes out for the morning and falling into bed.  
We woke early and went for a run around the hotel track. Natasha let me set my own pace with things. It felt good to be getting to do more physical activities without constantly being told to be careful and not to push myself too much. I knew soon I’d be able to spar more with the others instead of feeling like a marshmallow as they took it as easy as possible just to get me going to through the motions. Attack and defend, all done at painfully slow speeds. I seemed to pick up the training easily, though I was sure I’d never actually had any formal training. All HYDRA ever did was poke and prod trying to figure out how much the healing factor would allow me to endure and still enable me to survive.   
HYDRA’s combat training had consisted of a group of armed guys beating us down until they felt we had learned to take a hit. They never knew about most of the other powers amazingly. The group hadn’t progressed far into the hand to hand combat before they decided we needed to be more subdued before they made us more dangerous. Sure, they had seen some of the minor curses I could throw, but they quickly collared me removing that form of fighting back. I guess they weren’t as interested in making me a weapon as they were keeping me a guinea pig. I mentally flinched at the memory and picked up the speed of my jog. I always felt like I had known the hand to hand moves I was being taught now, but it was fuzzy. Like a memory of a memory.  
Tasha easily kept up, not even questioning the random speed change. She knew, she knew I did my best thinking while working out. She was there to let me work through things at my own pace and be a silent support in case I needed her. She had quickly become one of my closest friends. She had told me what she survived and we two bonded over mutually fucked up histories like it was the new college. I let my emotions flow through my muscles, pacing my breathing to our run, the occasional silent tear streaking my cheek from both the muscle strain and the thoughts bouncing around my head. We wound down to a jog after a few more laps, then to a walk. I set to working through a few yoga moves now that my muscles were warm and limber.  
“Feel better?” Nat was also doing a mixed bag of stretches.  
“Much” I responded while moving through the last few martial arts moves I added to spice things up.  
I went back to the room to shower and change, Tasha right behind me. We went through the rest of the morning in silence before I asked her what time we needed to be ready by.  
“Party starts at 6 pm, I figure we’ll start getting ready at 5.” She stated.  
“Awesome. I need shoes. We’ll go shopping really quick.” We went to the local mall and picked up a couple pairs of heels for the party. One pair was silver and one pair was black, so that if anything should happen I would still have at least one pair to wear to the next party. Yes, we totally plan head like that. Wouldn’t be the first time I broke a pair of heels on a mission. I started fluffing and spiking my hair a little after 5, Natasha was putting her hair up in a dramatic sweeping up-do. I just grinned as she turned to help me with my make-up. I helped with hers and we set off together down the hallway towards the ballroom.  
“I’ll take getting pummeled over heels any day” I grumped at the end of the night. We were sitting together on the edge of the tub with our feet in and ice water bath. “We looked really good through” Natasha added, almost as an afterthought. I laughed. We compared notes as to who we had spoken to, and any leads we had picked up. We both had some more snooping to do tomorrow night, but we had made decent progress. It seemed like there were people here who had heard of the intel we needed. They also seemed completely clueless about what they shouldn’t say in front of a pretty face. I do have to admit, cleaning up real nice does have its advantages as a spy.  
An angry vibrating noise pulled us out of the bathroom. Natasha pulled the tablet from under the mattress and entered our codes. Maria Hill popped up on the screen, standing next to Director Fury himself. We quickly snapped to some attempt of attention, sore feet be damned. “Director, Agent Hill, to what do we owe this pleasure” Nat asked evenly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not sure about the flow through here. This might get tweaked some.

“We need you to focus on any intel directly related to Stark’s suits and ignore anything else for the moment” Fury said shortly, “It seems someone has a piece of alien tech they are trying to incorporate and we need both the alien tech and whatever suit they were trying to graft it to. Is that clear?”  
“Yes sir” We responded in unison. Fury rolled his eyes and walked off.  
“How’s the party?” Maria asked, “Any actionable intel so far now that your mission focus has narrowed?”  
We spent the next 30 or so minutes giving Maria our status report, then we finished cleaning up and fell into bed. The next day we got a location on the suit and alien tech from some rather loose lipped drunk scientists. We had them convinced Natasha was famous. Really not a hard sell, but for different reasons than we allowed them to think. We went ahead and cut our stay short, taking a quinjet back to Stark tower that night instead of in the morning. That’s when all hell broke loose.  
We could hear the yelling from the helipad as soon as the quinjet had left. We were both still in our dresses, hair and make-up done, bags over one shoulder and shoes in hand. We just looked at each other, rolled our eyes and walked into the fray. The minute we stepped inside there was silence and lots of gawking. Clint dropped his bow, Tony fell out of the chair he was leaning back in, Steve and Bruce just lightly colored and smiled at us. Thor was the quickest to regain his composure of the people there that I recognized, he shouted both our names and came over for hugs. This was quickly followed by hugs from everyone else and we both had to tell Tony no seconds after the first hug. Once everyone had calmed down and got finished picking on us for our appearance I turned to look at what had to be the reason for the yelling.  
Standing in the lounge, in chains no less, was a tall, dark haired man with bright intelligent green eyes. His build was medium and most likely athletic, that I could tell. Those bright green eyes were locked on my dress. I looked from my dress to his green armor and knew this had to be Loki. Thor’s brother, ‘adopted brother’ I mentally amended. The genius who tried ruling earth starting in New York city. Like they’d ever kneel, so big aspirations, but rather short sighted. I meet his gaze, when he finally brought it up from my dress, with a smirk and a raise eyebrow. He didn’t seem to expect this as a response to being so thoroughly checked out and just kind of stared at me, confusion clear on his face.   
Thor had begun talking again, “As I was saying, Loki is coming to earth for community service to make up for what he has done. What better place to serve that sentence than here, at the tower, in New York where he caused the most damage.” The yelling started again. Pinching my nose to hopefully stave off a migraine I looked Loki over. It’s true, I wasn’t here for the battle of New York, I was still in a cell at HYDRA for that. However, I distinctly remember reading in the reports that Loki had blue eyes when he was here last. This Loki had unmistakably green eyes. Vivid green eyes, fair skin and raven-black hair that just brushed his collar. He also looked completely unamused with the entire situation. No, he just looked tired. Like someone who had tried to explain their side of the story into the ground just to be ignored. I also remembered reading that when Barton was swayed by the scepter Loki had used on him that he had strange blue eyes. I’m sure this is connected somehow. If only I could think through all the noise in the room. I sighed, then let out a loud whistle.  
Everything stopped. All eyes turned to me. Several hands snapped to ears. I really didn’t feel bad. I knew my whistle was loud, I knew it was painful, but I was done with the yelling. “Can we just sit and talk about this? Maybe Nat and I can change first?” Typical guy style the first responses to this were some combination of everyone saying we looked fine in our dresses. So, I just shook my head, looked at Natasha and we moved over to the tables. “Ok, fair warning, I’m tired, I’m in pain, and I will throw my shoes at anyone who starts the yelling back up” I said deadpan. Tony flinched and mumbled, “She’s deadly accurate and completely serious.” There were a few snorts to this. Including one from Loki.  
“If you’re in pain, we can push this off until tomorrow…” Bruce started to say, then fell silent under my stare.   
“No, I’d like to sort this out now if we can.”   
Bruce and Steve nodded. Clint glared at Loki, Tony absently rubbed the spot of his forehead I had nailed with a shoe last time he made me angry, Thor and Loki just looked around at the people gathered.  
“Now, I feel there must be more sides to this story, ah don’t interrupt, and I would like to know just what the whole deal is, if you will, Thor” I said turning to him, having cut a midsentence interruption from Clint off before it could even start.  
Thor explained that Odin wanted Loki to have the same experience on Earth that Thor had when he got banished here. I sent a glance at Natasha and she nodded towards Clint, who grinned. That’s a story I’d be getting later. This hopeful change in his behavior was to happen by helping the Avengers on missions. He would earn privileges back with good behavior, right now he was chained and most of his magic was being suppressed. Man, did I know exactly how that felt. Loki was doing his best to look bored again, but I could see something else occasionally coming to the surface, it looked like sadness. This could make life here even more interesting than it already was. I completely identified with being caged without my magic, sure I hadn’t done anything more than exist to put myself in the situation I was pulled from, but still. I mean, I don’t know anything that happened before HYDRA, but I am sure that had it been anything bad there would be records of it. Right? I didn’t have time to worry about this.  
“Now he’s going to need to be partnered with someone for this to work, someone who can handle him, knock him down if necessary” Steve said.  
“I’ll do it” I said before even realizing I’d opened my mouth. Though once I said it, I realized I had meant it. Who better to control and influence a magic user, then another magic user?  
Everyone turned to stare at me with various looks of surprise on their face. Loki’s face was mostly unreadable. He seemed kind of relieved though. Maybe a little smug? Gods I know nothing about this guy. “I’ll need to see his file though.” I added.  
“No offence Lady Lilith,” Thor began.  
“Not a lady” I said at the same time as Natasha. We looked at each other and laughed.  
“Lilith, you’re just a human mortal like La-Natasha, and you don’t know Loki, are you sure you’re up for this?” Thor said finally.  
Steve and Bruce looked at me with gentle concern on their faces. Natasha was saying something to Clint who along with Tony was looking at me like I had two heads.  
“Yes.” I stated firmly. “He doesn’t know what I’m capable of either, it’s fair. I’ll also have his file.” I nodded, letting them know my mind was made up. “It will be fine, there is an empty room right next to mine anyway” I added. I decided I didn’t feel like explaining that I’m not a ‘simple mortal’ right now.  
“Okay, that settles it then.” Natasha said, squeezing my leg under the table where no one could see. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not going to argue with her.”  
Thor showed Loki to his room. For now, he still had to wear the chains. Thor handed me the keys and Loki’s S.H.I.E.L.D. file. He was officially my problem.  
Gods this was probably a terrible idea.  
‘Again?’. I woke up between my damn bed and the wall. This time I realized I was very stuck. My blankets were quite securely wrapped around my body, pinning my arms to my sides. Sighing I weighed my options. There were pretty good odds that Natasha would come to see me, that was our normal morning routine. ‘Shit’. No, she wouldn’t. She was following up on the intel we gathered at the party. They only needed one specialist for it and she had been set to leave early this morning, ignoring the fact that we had just gotten back. No rest for the wicked, so they say. There wasn’t much sunlight streaming in through my window yet, but I knew she wouldn’t say goodbye before she left. We had agreed to let each other sleep in if the other wasn’t chosen for the follow up mission. There was only the library, my room, and the empty room that now belonged to Loki on this floor. There was no way a man in chains was going to be able to help me either. Not that I needed to start out my first day with him having to rescue me from myself. That wouldn’t exactly set a good impression.  
I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Allowing myself to feel my body, feel where it met the blankets and the floor. To see if I could feel a way to wiggle out of my blanket cocoon, all I needed to do was free an arm. If that failed I was going to have to really flex my mental muscles and lift myself out. I had been wanting to save any energy I could in case I needed to defend myself. I hoped I wouldn’t need it, but Thor was right. I don’t know Loki and I planned on leaving nothing to chance. Given that I’d only been moving myself up a couple inches max during my personal training before needing a break it was going to hurt, and be exhausting on top of everything else. I quickly made a mental note that no matter how I got out of this I deserved ice cream for putting up with it. ‘Ok focus.’ I let my mind feel my hands, I could wiggle my fingers. No arm movement possible though. Damn. Mental lifting it was.  
Then there was a knocking at the door.  
“Uh, Nat? I thought you’d be gone already.” I said, trying to sound nonchalant, if a little sleepy. I couldn’t see my clock from here, but it felt like before 7 am.  
“It’s Loki…” came the velvet smooth voice from the other side of my door.  
‘Shit, shit, shit, shit’  
“Just give me a minute, ok” I stated calmly. It’s ok, I can totally pull myself out of this without anyone knowing. I tried wiggling. ‘Fuck’. Firmly stuck in place and the damn bed wasn’t sliding anymore. With my blankets caught somewhere up on it I couldn’t even roll under it to get out. I wigged harder and just succeeded in smacking my head against the wall. Really hard.  
“OW”  
“Problem?” damn his timing and that beautiful silky-smooth voice.  
“Ok, yes. I need help, but if you laugh at me I swear to the Goddess I will end you, painfully. The door isn’t locked. Come in.” I said resigned to my fate.  
The door gently swung open. “Where are you?” Loki queried, looking around.  
“Down here, between the bed and the wall. Not sure what help you can be with those chains on, I’d rather not involve anyone else in this, unless you can hook a foot under the bed or hey how strong are you?” I was rambling. Perfect. This was just great.  
I heard the bed squish under his weight and he peeked into the hole to look at me. I glared at him. To his benefit, his face was completely serious and there was no laughter in his eyes or his voice when he answered me, “Strong enough.” Then with hands still bound together he leaned forward, gripped my blanket and hauled me out of the hole leaving me in my blanket cocoon on the bed as he stepped back a respectable distance. As soon as I could move I wiggled my arms free.  
“Awesome, thanks. No one hears about this, ok?” I said looking at him. He quirked an eyebrow at me and shamelessly studied what he could see of my shoulders. “What?” I huffed.  
“You’re naked, aren’t you? You don’t lock your door?” Simple, honest questions, spoken without malice or judgement. From the God of Mischief. I should ever feel so flattered.  
I rolled my eyes. “Like a locked door could stop anyone who lives here.” I commented simply, “and naked is the best way to sleep. Now, if it’s such a problem you can step outside. Either way. I’m getting dressed.” He turned and walked to the door as I slid to the edge of the bed.  
“Would you really get dressed in front of a stranger?” He said standing back to me, facing out the open door.  
“Yes,” I replied plainly, “It’s just a body.” I snapped my fingers to get dressed quickly.  
He turned at the noise, a skeptical look on his face when he realized I already had clothes on.  
“I see.” He said. “You possess magic. I should have guessed.”  
I shrugged.  
“Now, human, what do I get in return for helping you and keeping my silence?” Ugh. There was the snarky tone I had been expecting.  
I smiled and held up the key. “Ask me that question nicely and we’ll see.”  
His turn to roll his eyes. “What do I get in return for assisting you with your troubles,” wow that was sickly sweet. ‘Does he have no in between?’ I thought as I reached for his hands and unlocked the cuffs. Loki rubbed his wrists where the cuffs were, looking at me as if he was surprised that I had gone through with letting him loose despite his tone. His wrists were a little red from the cuffs and I flinched back a bit looking at them. He noticed and fixed me with a curious stare.  
“I sass you and get told off, I rub my wrists and you flinch like I struck at you. This could be interesting.” He commented dryly. Then he really did reach for me, quickly. I had been expecting it though and had sucked in a good steadying breath. I whipped my hand towards him, using what little energy I had worked up to send him sliding back into the wall. He looked genuinely shocked upon his impact. I let him slump to the floor as if it was on purpose, but I saw stars behind my eyes. I just barely prevented myself from swaying and giving away exactly how weak I was right now. Show the predator you’re not prey and you stop being viewed as food.  
I simply walked over to him and offered him a hand up. He looked at me, seeming amused for a second, then accepted it. I was pleased with myself, but his reaction had me a bit concerned. The sound of running feet reached us as I finished helping him up. Steve, Bruce, Tony and Thor where all suddenly in my room looking very worried. I guess I smacked him against the wall a little harder than I was thinking, which means my reflexes were good enough for what I’d agreed to do. I turned, looking as smug as I possibly could, away from the disheveled looking Loki and the dent in my wall to face the concerned group. “Just a warning shot guys, no big deal.” I said, and strode past them out of the room, chin up. “Sorry about the wall Tony, I’ll fix it later.” I didn’t even look to see if Loki was following. Man, I needed to eat before I fell over. My head was still swimming in stars. The soft sound of laughter followed me down the hall.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still more meh about the flow through here. It gets the story out, but I feel I rushed a lot of these next chapters to get the story out of my head before it went away.

Hopefully whatever Loki did in response to them laughing at him wasn’t going to be super serious. I was now tired enough to just go back to sleep for the rest of the day.  
It turned out that Loki didn’t follow me, he went with Thor. It was Steve and Bruce that followed me to the kitchen. Which was for the best, since I made it out of sight of my room and promptly collapsed. Bruce stepped forward and caught me before I hit the floor. “Thanks,” I whispered, “need food and a bit of rest after a show of force like that.” I stated. As if it was common for me to still not make the distance between my room and anywhere I was headed. Gods how I hoped this hasn’t set me back in healing. “Maybe the guys should take todays Loki-sitting shift.” I mumbled to no one in particular as I let Bruce and Steve half carry me to the couch. Bruce brought me French toast, curtesy of JARVIS and Steve got me a glass of orange juice. I rubbed my arms, and noticed a new bump near my left elbow. I caught Bruce’s attention and pointed at it. “Another inhibitor?” I asked. I swear they must have used a shotgun shell of them with the random locations and amounts we were finding them in.  
I spent the morning in the lab with Bruce giving me the now standard: Lilith did something incredibly stupid and dropped check-up. We found and removed three more inhibitors. I mentally flexed my muscles and discovered they were indeed stronger. At least I should be able to fire another warning shot if necessary. Too many of those without rest and I’d be a sitting duck though. Better bring my mental and physical game plan then, since I felt that one shot was in no way going to be enough to cow Loki properly. I was honestly surprised with how civil he was finding me the way he did this morning, given the stories about him. I know I didn’t want to judge, but still. The man’s got a reputation.  
So, given all this information I shouldn’t have been surprised to find a small brawl happening in the lounge when I went in for lunch. Thor was behind the counter, mostly watching. I knew Bruce was still in the lab, and texted him to please stay there for a minute longer. As I stepped further into the room an arrow shot past my head, I reached out and snatched it, turning to glare at Clint who was looking very surprised and ashamed while trying to push all blame off on Loki. Meanwhile Loki and Tony were in a headlock in the middle of the floor in the direction that Clint had fired the arrow. I raised an eyebrow and I tossed it back to him, “You were really going to risk shooting Tony to get a shot at Loki?”  
“No! I don’t miss!” He yelled at me followed by, “You can’t be human, doing things like that!”  
Tony and Loki were both yelling unintelligible things as they fought for the upper hand. I sighed and pinched my nose again. Then I whipped off one shoe and knocked Tony off Loki. The other shoe followed, nailing Loki directly in the back of the head as he moved to pursue Tony across the room. Once they both were glaring at me I turned and gave a look to Clint, who promptly took off into the vents. Thor just sighed and kept watching, so I turned my attention to him next.  
“Seriously? Can I not leave you guys alone? Do I need to be babysitting all of you? I wasn’t even gone that long, and this is what I come in to!” I was yelling at all of them at this point, and gathering stares as I felt my anger lifting me off the ground the more I yelled. I yelled about maturity, and the Avengers, and responsibility. The guys were slowly backing away from me.  
“Lilith?” Steve said from the doorway, stopping his entry as he saw the scene unfolding before him.  
“What!” I said as I turned, suddenly realizing that I was taller than him right now. Oh, not taller. Just floating about a foot off the ground. ‘Sigh.’ I closed my eyes and took a steadying breath. Mentally feeling for the ground, I allowed myself to gently plop back on the floor. Steve moved closer to me, just in case he needed to catch me. It was a good thing he did, because I just started sobbing as I let go of my anger and frustration at the whole situation. The ridiculousness of the guys fighting, being overwhelmed with my powers, all of it. He caught me in a hug and just let me cry. He glared at Thor, Tony and Loki while he did so. He wanted to make it clear that this was all their fault.  
When I was finally done crying I felt a lot better. Like a weight was lifted off my chest. I excused myself to the bathroom to clean up, then returned to the lounge for lunch. The guys had all settled down by this point, though Clint was still absent. Knowing him he would probably be hanging out in the vents for a while waiting for whenever he felt it was safe to come back out. After I ate and collected my dishes, I simply pointed at Loki and walked out of the room. This time he followed. I walked down to the library, I spent a good portion of my free time here. I pulled out Loki’s file and threw myself on my beanbag chair in the corner and started reading. Loki eyed me as he walked by. Expression as unreadable as ever. I ignored him.  
“Do I get to read your file?” He asked my finally. His silvery voice pulling me out of words I was digging through, looking for the facts of the stories recorded there. Wondering how much of it was true and how much was exaggerated. Files always have some exaggerations in them.  
“No.”  
“That’s hardly fair…” He began to say. I shot him a look over his file.  
“I really don’t care what is fair right now, I’m in charge of you, not the other way around. Besides you haven’t earned any right to know anything about me.” I responded tartly.  
He fixed me with a glare, then turned to the book he was reading like I stopped existing. That was fine by me for today. I never expected us to get along right away. I hadn’t even expected him to be any kind of civil to me yet. I just hoped that his manners would improve during our time working together. Given that I had no intention of putting his cuffs back on, I was hoping that he wouldn’t force me to. I shivered thinking about the cuffs I had gotten freed from. I kept reading.  
A soft whimpering noise slowly pulled me from my daze. I had clearly fallen asleep on the beanbag chair in the library. With Loki. Oh Shit, LOKI. I Jumped up fully expecting something to have been done to me, or him to simply be gone. He wasn’t though. He’d fallen asleep too. Head tilted back, arms and legs splayed. He took up the whole chair, I noted. There was no way that was comfortable. I had started to move towards him to wake him up, when the whimpering noise came again. It was him… he must have nightmares too. I looked closer at him then, his face was tight and he was covered in a light sheen of sweat. This nightmare must be bad. ‘How do I want to do this?’ I had an idea.  
I slowly walked up to him, feet silent across the floor, and maneuvered around behind the chair he was in. I took a breath and held my hands up near his head, working on instinct. I slowly breathed out, letting my body relax as much as possible while remaining standing. My hands softly glowed with the collection of energies I was letting collect there. It’s a good thing healing has never cost me much. I let peace and happiness reign in my head as I gently touched his face, letting the peace I had found flow out of my body and into his. I had no idea what I was doing, following my gut mostly. His muscles relaxed and he stopped whimpering, turning his face into my hands as I let them rest on his cheeks. Then he twitched and slowly opened his eyes. They weren’t so bright right now. They were stormy green instead of the usual vibrant color. He just looked up at me, confused for a few seconds, before he lurched forward out of my gentle grip. He stumbled a bit, but stayed standing.   
“I didn’t look,” I said softly, “I just pulled you back.” I held my hands up by my head to show him I wasn’t going to attack. Then I dropped my hands back to my sides as I went to sit down like it was nothing. Loki continued to stare at me. “Why…” he began, then didn’t say anymore. I waited a bit for him to continue before speaking. He didn’t.  
“I have nightmares too, you actually helped me out after one this morning. Just returning the favor.” I said.  
Loki nodded, nearly imperceptivity and sat back down. Still watching me. His eyes had returned to their normal shade of green.  
“How did you know to do that?” He asked me after a pause.  
“I guessed,” I replied truthfully. There was still so much about myself I was learning from instinct.  
He nodded again. “Why are you trusting me?” A question stated so quietly that I nearly missed it.  
I looked at him. “Who says I am?”  
He tilted his head. Oh, Gods why did he have to look like a lost puppy? I just wanted to hug him.  
“You took my cuffs off, left me alone with the guys, and just now you fell asleep…” a statement. No malice, just truth.  
I eyed him. How much to tell him? Do I trust him? How much could I tell him and not risk my safety, the safety of my team? I opened my mouth, then closed it again. He waited. He clearly wanted to know the answer. He was willing to be patient. He seemed to know I needed that.  
“The cuffs are the easy one,” I began as I held out my arms to him, palms down. Locking my eyes on his, I let the illusions drop. His bright green eyes got wide as all my scars came into view. Some of them were still an angry pink color, those were the ones that Bruce had stitched. The others were clearly older and more faded. I heard him suck in a breath. He reached forward taking my hand and turning it over. His hands were cool. There were scars everywhere. Scars on my palms, the backs of my hands, scars from the chains on my wrists from where I struggled against them, then long varied scars, almost like elegant decorative lines, dancing and spiraling up my arms where they disappeared under my sleeves. It was like they were trying to erase my skin and hide it under scar tissue.  
I heard him cuss under his breath as his eyes followed the scars up my arms, from there he could see the ones on my neck too. The only place uncovered by clothes that was unmarked was my face. I guess they still wanted me pretty, or maybe that had just healed better. I couldn’t be sure. When his eyes met mine, I saw pain and understanding in them. It was my turn to tilt my head, looking at him as he dropped the illusion over his scars. I nodded, knowing he could see the same absolute understanding reflected to him in my eyes.  
I smiled gently, “Leaving you with the guys was just stupid on my part. I was tired and due for a check-up down in the lab. Hardly something I wanted more company for.” Another nearly imperceptible nod was his response to this, “As far as falling asleep… I’m honestly not sure. I guess that also goes back to being tired, but mostly that there’s nothing left you could do to me that I haven’t already survived” He looked pained and a little paler than usual, but squeezed my fingers lightly.  
I pulled my hands back, looked at the file in my lap and passed it to him. “I know their side of it now. Tell me yours?” He accepted the folder, opening it. I wondered how much he would be willing to tell me. We seemed to be in the middle of a weird bonding moment. I wasn’t sure how long that would last.  
“Blue eyes” It was a comment and a question, he looked at me for confirmation. I shrugged.  
“I was… uh… I wasn’t anywhere to have known your eye color when New York happened” I whispered. There was that pained look again. It figures that the only person aside from Natasha to get what I was saying would be this sassy demigod. I really didn’t want anyone to understand. I needed someone too, but I didn’t wish that on anyone. To understand that kind of pain was to have lived it. Natasha mostly got it, she was groomed her whole childhood to be an assassin. But there was this quiet understanding in Loki. An unspoken understanding. I guess I found my someone to talk to. I’d have to tell Natasha later, she’d see the humor in this.  
“It’s mostly true.” He concluded. “Ultimately it was me that did all those things”  
“You were being controlled, just like you did to Clint, weren’t you” I finished for him.  
He didn’t look at me that time. I don’t know that he could. We walked back to our shared floor in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still just getting this out.

This time, I screamed. I screamed for all I was worth. I didn’t want to be on that table anymore. Something gave me hope that it would get better, and so with that hope. I. Just. Screamed.  
There were sounds, running and thumping. A door. Then there were cool hands on my shoulders. “Lilith,” a gentle shake, followed again by that velvet voice and a cool embrace. “Lilith, wake up. It’s not real.”  
As I started taking stock of my surroundings I realized I was wrapped in something cool, soft and strong. Just when I realized Loki was holding me, there were a bunch of worried people in my room all over again. Natasha had gotten there shortly after Loki, and she gingerly removed me from his arms just before Clint fell out of the vent and the rest of the guys made it to my door.  
Various yells of what did you do to her and what are you doing in her room were quieted by a quick glare from Natasha and a sob from me. Loki was holding his hands up, palms forward, clearly stating he was not a threat. “I just happened to be the closest,” He replied, “and awake.” He looked around the room at the gathered group of people in varying states of dress. “This isn’t normal, is it?”  
“No,” Natasha said looking at the group who quickly agreed with her. Then she lowered her voice so the others wouldn’t hear her, “she usually just falls out of the bed. Her file even noted she never screamed.” Natasha looked Loki over carefully. “What did you do?” He shrugged. “You guys can go, I’ll sort these two out.” Tasha called out to the group of guys uselessly milling around my room as she slid my blankets further around me.  
“Talk” She said simply and sternly. Looking between the two of us. “Lilith… your scars… you’re not hiding them.”  
I sniffled and looked at the body parts that were sticking haphazardly out of the blankets. “We talked” I whispered. “I took off his cuffs, he asked me why.” She just nodded then. She understood. “I just never put the illusion back up before falling asleep.”  
“You okay now?” She asked gently. I nodded and she let me go. I slumped back into the bed.  
“I had hope Nat. I was there again, but I knew it could be better. That pain wasn’t it,” another sob, “that pain wasn’t all there was and so I fought harder and…and… I… I screamed.” Natasha was looking at Loki. Loki was looking at me. He looked paler again as he reached a hand out and awkwardly laid it on top of my blankets in a kind of patting motion. Then he went back to his room, leaving the two of us alone as he closed my door behind him. “He’s got them too,” I mumbled. Natasha looked at me again a little confused, “he’s got the scars Nat.”  
Natasha spent the rest of the night with me. Cuddled under the covers with my computer next to us playing whatever stupid shows we could think of to stream on Tony’s private server. Anyone tracking his internet would know how much he loved chick-flicks. Then when the sun streamed through my windows she patted my hair, made sure I was still ok, and left. When I woke up the next time Loki was curled up in my chair, staring bemusedly at the screen. There was a blonde on the screen, dressed in a bunny suit at a party. A party that clearly wasn’t a costume party. “I never figured you for a chick-flick guy,” I murmured. That earned me a slight smile. “Why are you hiding in here,” I asked, “make the guys angry again?”  
“I didn’t feel like trying to explain, again, how I wasn’t the reason you were screaming last night.” He replied quickly, but his voice was gentle.  
“Sorry,” I whispered.  
He just shrugged, face neutral. “Want company for the trip to breakfast? You won’t even have to throw me into the wall first.” He finished with a smirk. I returned his smile while sitting up. As the blankets fell away from my skin his eyes widened, but I just flicked my fingers and put my clothes on. I rolled my eyes at his pink cheeks.  
Then he sobered, “Is there anywhere you don’t have scars?”  
It was my turn to shrug again. “My face” I locked eyes with him. He nodded and offered me a hand. I accepted it and stood up, cloaking my skin to look smooth again. We walked in comfortable silence to the lounge.  
No one else was up yet. Might have had something to do with a bad night’s sleep. ‘Oops’. I just grabbed the waffles that JARVIS offered and sat down. Loki did the same. Not too long after Steve came in, he sent me a sympathetic smile when I sent him an apologetic one. “Sorry about last night…” I started. He just held up a hand and shook his head. “It’s fine Lil, as long as you’re ok,” he finished by looking at Loki, who ignored him.  
“I’m ok. Honestly, I have them every night,” I paused at his shocked look, “I just… that’s the first time I ever screamed.” Loki silently reached out and brushed a hand across mine before continuing his breakfast. He gave no other signs he was listening to me at all. “Hey if you guys think you can behave, I have a mission today that runs through tomorrow morning.” Loki looked up then, and I suddenly had the undivided attention of Clint, who had just come out of the vent, Bruce and Thor, who had just come in the door of the kitchen and Steve and Loki. “Uh… guys? What’s wrong?”  
“You can’t go on a mission, you have to Loki-sit!” Came the chorus of replies. I just shook my head. “Guys, I’m still an agent, I mean it’s not like I can take him with me, right? Am I even allowed to train other agents yet? Isn’t he supposed to be doing missions with the Avengers? I’m not an Avenger! Does Fury even know he’s here?”  
“I’ll tell Fury!”  
“Of course Fury knows he’s here, Fury knows everything!”  
“You are too an Avenger!”  
Another chorus of replies. I shook my head and looked at Loki, who was somewhere between confused and amused. “Oh-kay,” I breathed, “Loki I guess I need to get you suited up, you’re going on your first mission. Just don’t get me killed, mmmkay?” Loki smirked and shrugged. “Or kill anyone else,” Now he looked sad. It was going to be a long day.  
Loki looked amazing. Ok, he also looked incredibly uncomfortable, but damn could he wear a suit. I know he’s worn one before, I’ve seen it in his case file, so I have no idea why he looks so nervous. I smoothed my hands down over the very same green and silver dress I was wearing when he first met me. Taking a deep breath, I looked sideways at Loki, who was watching both me, and everyone around us at the same time. It was nice not being the only one watching the room here. My original mission was going to be solo. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad. After all, he’s got the smarts to be a field agent, and he is a brilliant tactician. It’s also so much easier to sell this type of mission if I don’t have to pick random targets to dance with. I slid my hand onto his elbow and he stiffened in surprise, then relaxed as he guided me down the stairs at the gala. I absentmindedly wondered if he could dance as I let my eyes drift around, getting the layout of the room memorized.  
He smelled amazing too. He smelled like evergreens and leather. Wait, what the hell am I thinking. This is Loki. Pull it together. I gently took over guiding for a bit and steered him to the dance floor. He kind of glanced at me, but seemed fully willing to play along. He offered me his hand, I accepted it, placing my other hand on his shoulder as he placed a hand gently on my lower back. His touch was cool through the cloth of my dress. Oh yeah. Loki can dance. What, I’m still breathing. This is fine. I let the slow turns maneuver me around to survey the room, passing any thoughts to Loki as easily as I would any other person I worked with. When he responded intelligently and with his own observations I was wondering why all field agents couldn’t be like him. It’s been my experience that they usually won’t dance, can’t dance well, or spend too much time trying to look down my dress to do their part of the job. Generally, it’s a combination of those things.  
He dipped me and I took note of the security cameras. We twirled around and counted guards, listing what weapons we saw and took stock of exits. “So, what’s the target,” he whispered in my ear. A shiver ran down my spine. “Objective,” I corrected. He spun me again, when he pulled me back I let myself press up against him. “Flash drive, we need to plug it into a computer with internet access,” I whispered, my lips very close to his ear as I leaned into him. I watched as his jaw tensed and his eyes darkened a bit. We made another gentle revolution, swaying to the music like we were made to dance together.  
‘This could get complicated really fast’. He nodded at me and twirled me out again. When I spotted a computer, I squeezed his hand and let go. We inclined our heads to each other as if we’d just met, and I turned and walked off into the crowd. We agreed to meet back at the hotel if we got separated. I trusted him to follow through with that. I don’t know why, I just did. I schmoozed my way across to the order counter and covertly slipped the drive into a port in the back as I requested a drink from the waiter stationed there. I tensed as I felt hot hands wrap around my waist and pull me roughly away from the counter. ‘Ugh, must be a prince charming.’  
I didn’t recognize the man with his hands on me, but he didn’t seem to be aware of what I had just done. So, I relaxed a little. That was my mistake. The guy quickly took advantage of my complacency and tried to get a better hold on my waist and a wrist. He smelled strongly of booze. I stomped on his foot and twisted my body away from him at the same time, breaking his hold on my waist and wrist, but sending me on a course directly to the floor since my foot also dislodged from my heel and I slipped sideways. This wasn’t going to be fun. I relaxed for impact, ready to spring back up as soon as I could. It would be a feat to do it without attracting any extra attention. I really didn’t need this kind of complication right now. A familiar set of cool hands caught my waist mid downward spiral and quickly spun me instead into a solid body that replied to the force of my collision with an “Oof.” I grinned up at Loki, who smirked down at me. “Thanks” I remarked, “Sorry about crashing into you.” I took advantage of his sure grip and reached a hand down to fix my heel. The strap was snapped. ‘Sigh.’ I could hold it on with my toes, but I wasn’t going to be able to really move without it coming off. Walking would be it.  
“There’s more to you than I figured,” Loki stated grinning at me.  
“If you’re saying I’m fat I’ll turn you into a rat, just like the last guy foolish enough to comment on my weight.” That earned me a genuine laugh as he shook his head.   
“I would never,” He nearly sounded offended, if it weren’t for the smile remaining on his lips when he said it.  
“Oh, but I would,” I replied, scrunching my nose up at him, “You’d make such a cute little green eyed black rat.” I grinned at him. “Come on, we should get out of here before someone gets smart. Besides my shoe is toast.”  
His smile faltered just a bit at my words, but he nodded and we made our way to the exit. As we worked our way through the busy street back to the hotel it started to rain. Loki cast me a mischievous smile, looped an arm around my back and quickly swept me off my feet, running the last few hundred feet to get into the hotel before setting me on my feet again. Not that it mattered. I still got soaked, he still got soaked. Though he did save me from trying to run in my broken silver heels. Damn. Good thing I still have the black ones.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is longer, but I couldn't find a spot where I'd want to break it up. That might change.

I shivered as the air conditioning hit my bare shoulders. I was vaguely aware of Loki looking at me out of the corner of his eye as I deftly reached down and removed each shoe, depositing them in the trash can next to the door. I pulled him into an empty conference room in the lobby and shut the door. His eyes seemed to glow in the dark as he looked at me more than a little confused. I just placed a finger over his lips and waved a hand at him drying him off. I did the same to myself, then I let us out of the room and we made our way through the lobby to our room. Of course, this meant that I was way too tired to change. Shit. Why did some things have to cost way more energy than others? I didn’t pack extra clothes if I didn’t have too, and the ones I had brought were too dirty to change into right now. There had been a mix up during check in and trash got dumped all over my day bag. Clumsy people were the worst and crowded rooms made it hard to get the bags out of the way. Man, I sure end up spending a lot of time in this dress anytime I wear it. Maybe it’s bad luck. Probably not, so I didn’t waste any energy worrying about that.  
I sighed, resigning myself to the night without a change of clothes since our quinjet wasn’t going to show up until midday tomorrow. It’s a good thing I’ve long been over being shy about my body. Loki had already seen a few of the scars anyway, it’s not like that was going to be a big shocker. No need to use energy to hold up that illusion. I should have enough stamina back by morning to get dressed at least. So, I’m not totally screwed. Aside from the fact that I’m sharing this room with the God of Mischief and he’s currently looking at me like he’s a fat kid and I’m chocolate cake. ‘Why is he looking at me like that?’ If I must explain myself, he will know for sure that I can’t stop him from leaving if he wanted. How do I keep ending up in these situations? I audibly sighed, letting my back hit the door and sliding down it, far too fatigued to even stand up any longer. A defeated look plastered on my face.  
Loki quirked an eyebrow at me. I simply shrugged at him, deciding the truth was best. “You win,” I whispered. “If you wanted to leave right now I’d have no magic to stop you, and we both know I’m not physically up to it right now either.”  
“You are blocking the door right now, though.” He commented, an amused look on his face.  
I huffed a laugh at that and rolled my eyes. “So, you are saying I’m fat, I could still turn you into a rat you know. I still have enough energy to do that.” I grinned, “Then you definitely couldn’t leave.” I eyed him carefully, like I was actually planning to do it. He returned my grin and twirled in place for me. I giggled. “Yup, a rat. I think so.”  
“You really aren’t scared of me at all, are you?” He said, surprise and something else in his voice.  
“No, no I’m really not.” I concluded.  
“You just flat out told me I could escape, could hurt you, could kill you, and you’d be powerless to stop me.” He said tilting his head at me.  
“But you won’t” I mused out loud. “You know why?” I asked. He shook his head. “Because you’re not a monster. I’ve seen monsters, lived with them for years. That’s just not you.” I held up my hands. “Now help me up and help me with this zipper. I need a shower.” I muttered.  
Loki took both my hands, helping me to my feet. He traced my waist with his fingers as I turned around for him to undo the zipper. Then I let the dress pool on the floor, stepped out of it, and walked into the bathroom, closing the door. He could have left then. Totally proven me wrong about him, even without risking the fact that I may have lied to him about the amount of magic I had left.   
I didn’t lie, and he didn’t leave.  
When I stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in the hotel towel Loki was standing in the middle of the room wearing just his underwear looking out the windows. He looked completely lost in thought and I took my time looking him over. He was all lean muscle and light skin. Muscles clearly defined just below the surface, the lights from the windows danced across his shoulders. The lights were off in the room, but there was plenty of light from the bathroom and the windows for me to see clearly. The darkness has never really affected me. His scars were showing, I instinctively knew he had done that on purpose, had done it for me and had done it because I was way too exhausted to hide mine. I was touched by this silent show of solidarity. So, I stood there, imperfect in myself, eyes grazing over his imperfections and loving him for it. Damn. When did I start to fall for this guy? Cause it clearly happened at some point. It was going to be fun explaining this at headquarters.  
He seemed to notice my presence then, and turned to me with a pensive look on his face. “This isn’t it,” he said so softly I nearly didn’t hear him.  
“What isn’t it?” I asked.  
Slowly his pale skin turned a rich blue, some of his scars faded, others were just mingled with what looked like tribal lines. They looked like they had been there since birth. My breath caught in my throat. He was so beautiful. As I watched his whole body became that dark blue and his vibrant green eyes became a rich dark red. The only thing that didn’t change was his raven-black full head of hair. I just stood there with my mouth open for several seconds as he watched my face, looking for major reactions. I smiled at him. He looked so confused and damn him he still looked so amazing. I was completely fascinated by this man. He clearly expected a negative response, but I just didn’t have one for him. I was too busy committing this sight to memory. I had a feeling this was something he kept guarded, and I so wanted to keep this tidbit to myself.  
I cautiously walked forward closing the distance between us and traced the lines on his arm lightly with my finger, he flinched at the contact, but didn’t move away. He seemed to be holding his breath and he shut his eyes. “How… how can you touch me? Doesn’t it hurt?”  
“No,” I whispered. “You still feel the same, a little cool to the touch, but it’s not painful.”  
He opened his eyes at looked at me again, relief clear in his features. How long had he been looking for acceptance? For someone who didn’t flinch away from him in this form? I hugged him then. I couldn’t help myself. He stiffened at the contact again, then melted into my arms. I just held him like that for a while. Then I pulled back, leaving my hands on his arms. His skin slowly became pale again, red eyes turning green right in front of me. His breath was unsteady as I stepped away from him. “Get some sleep” I whispered, then I turned, dropped my towel on the floor and snuggled under the covers of my bed. He flopped across his bed and we both slept through the night. Neither of us had nightmares.  
I woke in the morning to him laying on his side facing me, chest gently rising and falling as he slept. I flicked a clean set of clothes on and got up, doing my best not to wake him. He just looked so peaceful in the morning light. I wondered what last night meant for whatever our working relationship was. Would he go back to being snarky at me, or would I be on my way to a really good partner like Natasha? After I checked a few things about our flight I gently tossed last night’s towel on his pillow. “Hey sleepyhead,” I said as he growled at me. “Wake up and get dressed. We’re wheels up in 20.” He mumbled an acknowledgement and threw the towel back at me. We silently gathered our things and met the quinjet out on the asphalt. He kind of grinned at me, and I returned it. “No nightmares?” I asked him. He hummed a negative. “Interesting.” I responded. He hummed at me again.  
Everyone was waiting for the two of us to get back. They all seemed genuinely surprised that the mission was successful and that Loki had behaved himself. Natasha tilted her head at me, I just shrugged. Thor kept looking between the two of us. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but I really didn’t care. We did both look well rested, but I wasn’t sure how much that showed, or what that even meant right now. I just told them everything was fine response to their comments and headed for my room. Loki walked with me until it was time to split off, and he smiled at me and walked the rest of his way to his room. My stomach twisted ‘Oh dear, complicated should be my new middle name.’   
I flopped onto my bed, not even bothering to remove my clothes. I just volunteered to watch the guy. I’m nice because that’s who I am. Who am I to even think about getting into a relationship, especially one with a demigod? Why am I even thinking about a relationship with anyone? I’m still way to messed up to consider it. Ugh. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. With each stupid I thunked my head against the wall to accentuate to myself how fruitless a situation I had gotten myself into.  
“Hey, what’s going on?” Loki asked, poking his head inside my door. I froze.  
Yeah, locking that door was a good idea, but still. Probably wouldn’t end up making a difference.  
“Nothing, I’m just feeling stupid for letting that guy get the drop on me at the gala” I lied. Wow that came easy.  
Loki tilted his head at me and hummed. “That doesn’t make you stupid and you handled it well.”  
Wait, why wasn’t he giving me shit? That was totally a perfect opportunity to rib me, free of charge, perfect set up, and instead he complemented me. Is this opposites planet? Though he’d never really been an asshole to me. I kind of headed that off with the warning shot, but there had still been some snark. Maybe we made that much progress? Hmm maybe he has a thing for being tossed into walls by women. Now there’s a thought. I tucked my head under my pillow to hide my sudden blush.  
“You sure you’re ok?” Loki asked me. I hummed at him, and heard my door close. I huffed out and breath and pulled my head back out. It was then that I registered the presence behind me. I slowly rolled over and found myself looking directly into those vivid green eyes, at my level because he was kneeling next to my bed. I really needed to start feeling for other presences. I had gotten lax since I felt so safe here.  
“Heh,” I chortled as I looked at him. Loki tilted his head at me, curious. “Look who’s kneeling now.”   
He smirked and turned a bit pink. I propped myself up on my elbows and considered him for a few moments. “So, I guess you are kind of my unofficial partner for a while. At least until more people trust you I suppose.” I mused. “Are you good with that? Immediately having to jump in and help some dull creatures?”  
“Only if I’m working with you. I’m not entirely convinced that you’re human, and if you are you aren’t a dull creature.” He said smiling. It was my turn for a pink face.

“I want to have my DNA tested.”  
Bruce looked up from the new tech he was working on to cast me a confused look, “what’s happened? Are you ok?” He moved as if to get up and come over to me.  
“I’m fine, it’s just… more and more people are accusing me of not being human and I’m starting to question it myself. You have a test for that right?”  
“Possibly, but I don’t even know what I’m looking for. Nothing strange showed up in any of your previous tests.” Bruce replied.  
“Can you just look again, for me? Please?” I asked quietly, not entirely sure I wanted the answers. Wanting and needing are two different things.  
“Sure Lil, if it’s what you really want, I’ll dig into it for you. I will do what I can, but It will be harder to keep this quiet.” He added.  
“I understand.” Was all I could say. Quiet or not, I needed to know. We could deal with the results of my curiosity later. Hopefully we wouldn’t have to.  
I walked to the lounge in silence, needing to ask Thor if he knew anything that might help. I didn’t really want to ask Loki yet. I didn’t want him to know it was his words that were the final push into me looking. I’d been accused of not being human many times before, given it had been a while. The Avengers made it a point to not bring that kind of thing up, since everyone here is some variation of strange. I didn’t find Thor in the lounge, so I turned around and headed down to the training room. Loki was already supposed to be down there, saying something about excess energy. This time I wasn’t concerned about the sounds of violence as I approached the room. Sparring wasn’t a silent activity.  
I entered the room to see Thor and Loki on the mat, both clearly having a great time. What Thor had in brawn Loki matched with fluid grace. It was like watching a ballerina dance around a boxer. They were both dressed in “Midgardian” workout clothes, well shorts. I stopped in my tracks to watch the incredible display of muscles rippling under flesh. They were both impressive, formidable fighters. Steve was watching from the edge of the ring and waved me over. “So, this is what it’s like to watch myths being made?” I asked with a laugh. “I’m cleared for sparring now, if you’re up to it Steve, we could show these guys how it’s done.” I winked at him. He just grinned and shook his head.  
“If you say so Lil, I’ll still go easy on you until you’re ready though.”  
“That’s fair, I really am feeling stronger, so I might give you a run for your money.” I added.  
When the demigods locked themselves in a complete stalemate Steve told them to clear the mat. They both eyed us curiously, wiping the sweat off their faces before grabbing towels as they walked off the padded floor.  
I squared off against Steve. He was my favorite sparring partner. He was good at gaging just how much to push me and when to let off. He never let me win, that I had to earn for myself. Which so far hadn’t been very often. It was only when I managed to trick him that I got him onto the mat. I didn’t feel like I had anything to prove, but I was done ending up flat on my back all the time. Besides I had a few new moves to try out. Taking a breath, I pushed all my excess energy to the back of my mind. We had agreed, no magic aside from minor healing just to ensure that I wasn’t ever really hurt. We inclined our heads to each other, now oblivious to the others gathering to watch.  
I sidestepped, watching him intently. He always waited for me to make the first move. That made it harder, since he did have bulk on his side. We are almost matched for height with only a four-inch difference, but I’m limber where he’s timber. I dropped and swung my legs at him. He jumped them easily and moved to halt my progress getting back up. I was counting on this, quickly rolling and flipping my legs into the air using my hands. I locked my thighs around his head and twisted. This was a new move and he lost his balance coming to the floor. Before I could pin him, he was back up and we circled again. I’d gotten him sweating this time. Yay, progress.  
“She looks like a stalking tiger”  
“Shhh, no distractions, I want to see this.”  
“Are we taking bets? I feel like we should be talking bets.”  
“Shut up!”  
Well, I’m glad they are entertained. I panted a little, continuing my circle. Looking for the next spot to strike. Steve surprised me by striking first. I grabbed his arm and rolled around his side, pulling his hand up behind his back. I followed that with a kick to the back of his knee, dropping him to the mat. I quickly let go of his hand and took advantage of his lower position to wrap my legs around his shoulders and rode him to the floor. Sitting on his back I patted him and smiled. “I win.”  
“You win,” he panted back, “fair and square. Good job.”  
I rolled off him and gave him a hand back up. We looked over in time to see surprised faces exchanging money. Loki seemed to be collecting as much as Natasha was. I tilted my head at them. They just grinned at me. Steve and I both stretched and checked ourselves for injuries. I looked to see if any new inhibitors worked loose. Training usually helped with this. There didn’t seem to be any near the surface though. I motioned to Thor and indicated he should join me off to the side.  
“I was actually looking for you earlier.” I began.  
“Is there something you need? Has Loki done something?” He asked quickly.  
“No, no. I mean I need to ask something of you, but Loki is fine. Better than I expected actually.”  
“Well then ask, I will assist you however I am able.” Damn he looked so noble.  
“I was wondering if you knew of any tests Bruce could do to find my actual parentage.” I said quietly, but in a rush.  
Thor looked at me. “Aren’t you human?”  
“I’m not entirely sure. The things I can do… they aren’t exactly human, or at least normal.”  
“I will talk to Bruce. Have you asked Loki of this question? It’s no secret that he might have the knowledge you seek.”  
“He has accused me of not being human, but never elaborated.” I commented, shaking my head. “The things that HYDRA did to me,” I paused not sure how much to say, “I should have died. I just need to know why I lived.”  
“Don’t worry yourself. I will do what I can to help you. You are a fine warrior and even more, I consider you a friend.”  
“Thank you, Thor, I consider you a friend also.”  
Well that was easier than I expected. I guess now I just wait. Waiting and not knowing. This is going to be fun. I dropped my towel in the basket by the door and headed up to my room to shower and change. Between the sparring and the conversation with Thor I had a lot on my mind. It was nice to be able to do things at full strength again. If this was even full strength. The sooner I had those test results the better. I’m almost sad I didn’t push for this sooner, but that doesn’t matter now. I flexed my mental muscles and let myself drift a few inches off the floor heading back to my room. It didn’t cost me nearly as much energy this time. I’m getting better. I smiled.  
I climbed into the shower and let the hot water run over my tired muscles. It felt amazing. I let my head hang with the water focused on my neck. Enhanced healing factor or not, sparring the Captain was going to result in some form of discomfort. I was better off than I had been previous times, and recovering even faster though. I slowly released my breath and just let my magic float in the air around me. It was calm, gently flowing around the room like small waves on a quiet lake. I let it stretch out further, and felt the room around me, gradually reaching out further and further. I flinched a bit in surprise when my magic bumped up against something cold. It must be Loki. I felt around a bit more. Yes, it was Loki, my magic was spiraling out away from me in widening circles and had made it to where he was walking down the hallway to his room. I felt him recoil at the touch, then as if he recognized it as mine and not a threat, he simply pushed my magic back at me and walked into his room. I felt the rest of the floor. We were alone on this level. I gently pulled my magic back and turned the water off.   
Bruce texted me the next morning saying he had something for me and that I should meet him in the lab. Luckily this time I was on top of my bed, not between it and the damn wall. I got dressed and checked on Loki, he was headed to the library. I let him. Not being sure what Bruce had for me I didn’t want him following me just yet. I walked into the lab to find Bruce, Thor, Tony and Steve all waiting for me. I looked from face to face registering the concerned looks they were giving me.  
“What’s going on guys, am I dying?”  
“You were right Lilith.” Bruce said quietly.  
“I usually am. Wait, right about which part?”  
“You’re not human.” Tony supplied nearly at a loss for words, which was new for him.  
“Ok…” I began, “Then what am I?”  
“Well, the tests seem to show… we used Thor as a genetic reference and…” Bruce began  
“You’re Asgardian, or at least closer to Asgardian than human.” Thor finished for him.  
The world went black.  
“I told you she should have been sitting down,” Steve’s voice came floating through the darkness.  
“Ow.”  
“Hey she’s awake.” Tony. Nothing escapes him, does it.  
I was laying on the floor, my head resting on Steve’s crossed legs. “I need to stop doing that.” I commented dryly.  
“It’s a perfectly acceptable response to stress,” Bruce said. I smiled at him, knowing the bigger meaning behind his words.  
“Do we have to tell the Director.” I asked quietly.  
“No, no one needs to know, at least not right now.” Tony spoke up.  
“Agreed,” came the chorus of voices.  
“Thanks guys.” I paused. “I’ll be the one to tell the others ok, not a word from any of you.”  
I got nods all around from that, then I accepted Thor’s offer of a hand up.  
“What does this mean on your end?” I asked him.  
“I’ll have to speak to father about it.” He replied. “We need to know who you are and how you got here.”  
“Ok.”  
Asgardian. Not human. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. I was anyway though. How old did that make me? How did I get to earth, and how long had I been here? Did I have family out there somewhere? So many questions and no one to talk to about them. Thor had left right after the discussion to talk to the all-father about me. I don’t know what that means for me either. For as long as I can remember earth has been home, sure it hadn’t been pleasant, but it was what I knew. Am I going to be subject to Asgardian laws now, was I going to be forced to leave earth and all that I knew? I guess I could talk to Loki. That could be fun. I needed to tell Natasha first. She took the news well. Agreed with me that it shouldn’t be all that surprising. She even agreed with my decision to talk to Loki about everything. Clint had just kind of stared at me blankly when I told him. He had clearly never meant for his jab at me not being human to be anything more than a joke. I was accepted though, and that’s what I needed. I had this merry band of misfits and they accepted me as I was.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where I left it, not impressed with my own writing here, but I can always change it. The story writes itself, I just type it.

Now to tell Loki that he was right. I braced myself for the gloating. Then I walked towards the library. I checked head of myself with my magic to make sure he was there. He was, and he was alone. Good. This was going to be awkward enough as it was. I didn’t need an audience. I clutched my file in my hand. I figured it was only fair that I be fully honest with him at this point. Besides it’s always been easier to answer questions than to recite the full story. I was shaking slightly as I walked, but still fully committed to my decision. Rules or status quo be damned. There was just something about Loki that told me I wasn’t on his list of things to conquer, that he’d never hurt me. I took a final deep breath to steady myself and I walked into the library. I reigned in my nervously dancing magic as he looked up from his book to meet my eyes. He looked me over evenly, taking in my slight shaking and the file in my hand. He leaned forward in the chair and just watched me. Waiting. Head tilted as he continued to study me.  
“I have something I want you to see.” I finally said, breaking the silence. Here we go. No turning back now. He motioned to the spot next to him on the couch. I considered it for a minute before sitting on the corner opposite him, tucking my legs under myself to be as small as possible. He took all this in silently and reached out, accepting the folder I offered him.  
“This one is yours.” He said looking at the cover. “HYDRA subject 2000.” He read the script on the front aloud, stopping to look at me when I flinched. “Sorry. That can’t have good memories associated with it.”  
“It’s not my S.H.I.E.L.D. file,” I commented, “There’s no point in you reading that one, this is the file they found me with. I want you to read it.”  
He looked pensive. “You’re sure?”  
“Yes.”  
His eyes were full of concern as he looked me over, then they dropped back to the file in his hands. I held my breath as he read. His face barely masking a range of emotions that danced across it in the amber glow of the library lighting. He was clearly upset by what he was reading, but trying not to let it show. He reached over and put a hand on my calf where it was closest to him causing me to finally suck in a breath. He squeezed gently and kept reading. By the time he was finished his eyes were that stormy grey-green I had seen when I pulled him from his nightmare.   
“You realize what you’re giving me, letting me read this?”  
“I do.”  
“Why? I could easily use this against you.”  
“Because you’ve never judged me, even from the start, finding me stuck between my bed and the wall and because I trust you.” I said.  
“That’s not it though.” I repeated his words from the hotel that night after our first mission.  
He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. His eyes soft and his expression open.  
“I’m not human.”  
“You’re not? I suspected as much…”  
“I’m Asgardian, it was confirmed this morning.” I whispered, tears running down my cheeks.  
He pulled me across the couch into his arms like I weighed nothing and just let me cry. “You really haven’t had it easy have you.” He said simply, resting his chin on the top of my head.  
“My file says so much, but it doesn’t say anything about who I was before I was at the HYDRA facility.” I was never sure why that was. Wasn’t that usually important? Shouldn’t it at least mention in my file where they found me? Talk about being incredibly detailed, but not containing any actual information. I just wasn’t sure what to think of anything anymore. Not even human. That was a loop I wasn’t expecting to be thrown through. Was there some kind of Asgardian paternity test? Could we somehow figure out who my parents were? Would I even want to know, if such a test was possible? It was all just too much, so I just sat there, allowing the God of Mischief gently cradle me in his arms. On a random fluffy couch in the library. I used the cool pressure of his arms around my body and the silken softness of his shirt against my face to keep myself grounded. At least one would never overheat whist cuddling with a frost giant.  
After all I have already seen in my time on earth, when I learned I was Asgardian I was suddenly struck with the realization that I was going to watch everyone I’d ever met get old and die. As someone who had only recently come to accept that things could be mine and I could make friends this knowledge just hurt so much. It was all just too much for me to process now, even though I had suspected that something wasn’t completely normal with me. What would even be defined as normal for me? I have no idea where to start. That’s probably why I ended up silently crying myself to sleep, in Loki’s arms, feeling safe.   
It was odd, but I really did feel safe with him. I guess that would be the positive to the new information I had about myself. It just solidified what I already thought about myself when it came to handling Loki and anything he could throw at me. Sure, I knew that Asgardians could die, but I was also aware of how much hardier they are than humans. That explains why I lasted 10 years with HYDRA. I still had so many questions that I wasn’t sure I would get answers to, or that I even wanted to know the answers. It would just be something else I would have to face. It could wait though. I would deal with it when it came up, just like I handled everything else that life threw at me. One day at a time. One problem at a time.  
I woke up slowly, only slightly confused by the nest I was in. I was still curled up in Loki’s arms, his legs were stretched out across the couch and I was in his lap. He had an arm around my back and the other around my calves gently keeping me tucked in my little ball of comfort. Someone had put a blanket on us and turned the lights off in the library. I’m not sure who, and really don’t care to speculate. I’m sure if it wasn’t Loki who did it the person would have plenty of questions for us. I knew he should still have access to enough magic to summon a blanket and he could easily tell JARVIS to shut the light off, if the AI didn’t do that automatically. Despite my general comfort with the situation, it didn’t change the fact that I had fallen asleep fully clothed, so my bra was digging into my side and I am going to have lines on my hips from my jeans. Man, I just can’t win. At least Loki turned out to be a good cuddler. I’m not even going to ask what this means to him. I’ve been a major cuddler since being rescued, I’ll cuddle with pretty much anyone. This has resulted in several pink faced male avengers when I flop on them on the couch for movie times. Both Steve, Bruce and Thor had no idea what to think of it the first few times it happened. I guess I’ve been making up for lost time. The only one who never questioned my need for cuddling up to this point has been Natasha. Though Tony and Clint never expressed issues with it, I knew they didn’t understand the need to connect and be close to people. I can only guess that Loki likes cuddles as much as I do.  
I shifted off his lap as gently as I could, but I was still greeted by green eyes looking me over when I turned back around to fix the blanket.  
“Thanks, and sorry” I whispered.  
He just shook his head at me and gave me a half smile. “You being Asgardian still doesn’t explain how you can touch me in Frost Giant form, when I was blue.” He elaborated at my tilted head. “Asgardians can’t touch Frost Giants, that’s how I discovered my parentage.” There was a sour note to his voice now, but I could tell it wasn’t really directed at me. Great, even more to think about, and I hadn’t told Thor I could safely touch a Frost Giant because I didn’t know it was important. So what else does that mean for me?  
I went back to my room to shower, change into something squishy and start my day. I was beyond done thinking for now. It was still early, but I was rested enough to not go back to bed. I hadn’t had nightmares. That was a blessing given the emotional state I was in. Who could have guessed that as part of his Midgardian community service Loki would end up serving as therapist and friend to a wayward Asgardian with a stormy attitude and shitty past. I giggled to myself. There was cosmic karma at work here, I was sure of it. I picked a velvety soft yoga outfit to wear. I had earned a flop day around the tower and had no intention of wearing real clothes again until tomorrow.


End file.
